a mama's heart

I read this amazing story almost two years ago and was touched by Kelle's raw, honest voice and the beautiful photographs of this life-changing moment. Her experience is all about grief and families and numbness and mostly love and facing a new, different kind of life than the one she imagined; it is a story of true human experience.  Kelle's story broke my heart in all the right ways, if that makes any sense. It opened my eyes and heart to the strength of women and mothers everywhere, and it showed me how truly beautiful people are made.

This morning I was happy to read her post about little Nella's second birthday and about the people they are today. I needed to be reminded that chaos, fear, uncertainty, and pain are only temporary, fleeting states of being, and that love, courage, families, and truth stay always, sustaining us while we learn to change and accept a bigger and more meaningful version of ourselves.

Kelle also shared this quote that made my heart catch in my throat:

"Awareness born of love is the only force that can bring healing and renewal. Out of our love for another person, we become more willing to let our old identities wither and fall away, and enter a dark night of the soul, so that we may stand naked once more in the presence of the great mystery that lies at the core of our being. This is how love ripens us -by warming us from within, inspiring us to break out of our shell, and lighting our way through the dark passage to new birth."

-John Welwood

Thank you for all of your kind comments and messages during the past few weeks. I can't express to you how important it is to feel connected and supported and heard while sorting out and moving forward with our "new normal". Thank you for allowing me to feel all of those things. XO

brooklyn, brooklyn take me in

So, I've spent my entire Thanksgiving weekend watching Woody Allen movies and thinking about NYC; both the city that Allen loves and makes an important character in nearly all his films, and my own experiences in October. I keep waiting for the right words to find me to accurately share what I felt and saw during my trip, but I'm afraid I'll forget all of the special moments (and meals!) while I'm waiting.

Here are the moments I don't want to forget:

- Four hours of turbulence, a flight attendant who thought he was James Brown, and zero sleep is not worth the $40 I saved to take that damn red eye flight. Although, it may be worth the long overdue realization that I'm no longer 17 and I seriously need to start embracing my need for sleep and time (and age) appropriate air travel.

- My sweet Polish taxi driver pressed the tip money I gave him back into my hand and whispered, "For the memories!" as he left me on a dark, rainy corner in Brooklyn.

- I'll never forget walking down Em's block with my head and stomach swimming, feeling overwhelmed and exhausted as I dragged my suitcase behind me. I looked up to see her sleepy face smiling from her apartment doorway. It had been over 7 years since I'd seen her and yet I knew we'd be alright.

- Her apartment is beautiful, smells good, and she made me peppermint tea in a pretty little mug. We're going to be better than alright.

-When someone tells you to go to Hanco's for a Vietnamese sandwich, you do it. Even after you read the ingredient list and have a hard time wrapping your brain around pate and some sort of weird fried Vietnamese ham and pork topped with cilantro and shredded carrots - just get it. Make sure it's with medium spicy sauce and an almond bubble tea, find a crowded table, and proceed to repeatedly tell everyone around you how unbelievably delicious your sandwich is. Oh, and cry a little, because honestly? You just can't help yourself.

 
- I spent an entire afternoon in the Park Slope Community Bookstore with giant piles of M.F.K. Fisher, Samuel Beckett, and John Updike. Flipping through cookbooks, old childhood favorites, and poetry for hours in a quiet corner of this bookshop felt like a sweet gift, a welcome surprise.

- I found messages of peace tucked in windows, hidden gardens, and on the side of giant skyscrapers.

- Colson's Patisserie has fantastic pear almond tarts and tiny apricot rugelach.

- Prospect Park is beautiful in the rain. I spent a few hours walking around the ponds and riding trails, watching families have picnics and people out walking their dogs.

- When the rain kicked it up a notch, I ducked into a French coffee shop, Couleur Cafe, and spent a few hours eating soup and a croissant, humming along to Johnny Cash and Patsy Cline, and feeling lucky to be in my own life.

blog love : my new roots

Do you follow My New Roots? I found it during a wild night of link clicking and haven't been able to think of anything else! The author, Sarah Britton, is a holistic nutritionist and a vegetarian chef, and her blog is full of gorgeous food, great information, and fantastic photos.

I can't wait to try some of her recipes; first of the list is this Garbanzo Bean Salad With Mexican Mango Dressing, followed closely these delicious looking Raw Brownies she recently posted!


Photo Credit : Sarah Britton for My New Roots

home birth week : link love

sweet photo from tthumper via the bean and the bear

Well, here we are, my friends, this is the last post of home birth week. It has been an emotional ride for me as I've opened my most private life (and slightly nudey photos!) for all to see, read, and discuss.

I hope that you were able to feel included and supported, no matter what stage of life you are in or how you've chosen to give birth. The true purpose of this series was to honor the powerful work that women do and to recognize all the different ways we grow and change and sacrifice to bring our families together.

Are you interested in reading more wonderful home birth stories? Here is a list of my favorites from around the web:

Leigh's wonderful blog Marvelous Kiddo is full of touching birth stories (she was kind enough to include mine this week!), including her own.

Ryan and Cole are some of the most awesome people I don't know, and Ryan's post on Tessa's birth is very honest and sweet. You can check out Cole's maternity series on his blog, Pacing the Panic Room.

Lovely Lindsey's story of her brand new Charlie babe had me in tears, as did her heartfelt post on Gavin's birth. Lindsey's mom, Cathy was also her midwife and you can read Charlie's birth from the perspective of a midwife/mama right here.

Thank you, thank you, thank you for following along this week and for being so open minded and kind. It's been great talking to old friends and brand new readers about something that I hold so close to my heart. Hope you all have a lovely weekend, and I'll catch you on Tuesday. XO

i love carbs

Are you familiar with the greatness that is Smitten Kitchen? Deb is funny, has the cutest baby ever, and posts awesome recipes. I spend a lot of time drooling over her photos and wishing I had more butter on hand :)

I tried this recipe on Sunday + it was so delicious - a perfect comfort food for a chilly weekend.

do what you love

Have you seen this new series by Ryan of Pacing The Panic Room? I love everything this guy does - his creativity, drive, and vision blow me away, this project is no exception.

Here is what he says about the series:

"I will be profiling women from all over who have found a way to Do What They Love. I drew from the one thing that has inspired me the most,  finding people that are living their lives on their own terms and truly doing what they love for a living, from artists, to teachers, to candlestick makers, anything that keeps a big smile on the face."

You can check out more of the awesome series here.

blogs i love : kendi everyday

Do you read  Kendi Everyday? You totally should. She is super funny, has gorgeous photos, and puts together great outfits. She's inspired me to have a functional wardrobe. Apparently yoga pants, hippie skirts, and that-one-shirt-that-kind-of-works-sometimes (you know the one), are not appropriate for every occasion (what has happened to meeeeee...).

Anyway, check out her blog here. She's really great.

i've decided that instead of having a giant blog roll on my sidebar, i'm going to dedicate a post to my favorite blogs. that way i don't have to keep updating my list + maybe you'll find a new favorite too. oh, and i found a new swimsuit! let's just say its actual brand name is 'Miraclesuit', and i couldn't agree more! Happy Tuesday to you! xo.

hyperbole and a half

Do you read Hyperbole and a Half? I just started reading yesterday and I can't get enough of Allie + her hilarious comics. Make sure you check out the Best Of  section, the Sneaky Hate Spiral had me rolling.

via kelly, of the always awesome design crush.